It's just an emotion

when i breathe, i feel it in my back.  when i sit still, it grows more encumbersome.  i try to fill it empty, i try to empty if whole.  nothing breaks this silence of pain and dread.  were i to actually know and feel and see such things, could that be me?  could i be that which i am most afraid?  somehow i see (saw) you nesting here.  somehow wind (change) has spoken from long ago, and taken me whole.  during rain it falls still in this space.  when sun scorches ruined and rotten upon pink flesh, would my hands still be tied?  so race into me now, this beast, this life, this change.  find me and capture me.  molest me, change me, devour me.  rip my chords bleak and dry -- sting me -- do it.  have your fill, and save nothing for you or anything.  find me.  kill me.  destroy me, while i am yet alive.  be me, complete me, control me.  i am still.  eat.  swallow.  digest.  let me be.  let me sleep.  let me be