blurry

i'm tired of crying.  i'm tired of distance.  i am tired of anger.  i'm tired of lonesome sounds.  i want to be happy.  i want it to be real.  i want to be one of the mindless happy drones who can smile the world away.  i want the master to stop asking so much of me.  too much space inside.  anger creates so much tension.  i want to bleed softness.  i want to feel.  i want each drip of a tick of a clock to be something other than longing.  i'm feeling it stretch beyond my limits, and something will burst.  i feel it stepping away.  i feel him slipping.  but wait ... i'm not done here.  i want you to be a part of me again.  oh weary traveler hope, why do you elude me so?  why must you battle with anger and silence and falter?  let's build you up.  he can't always defeat you.  you must be strong.  fear is my enemy, too.  let's battle together.  along with all of the others, we can war this united.  hope hold me close.  don't be afraid.  so what if you haven't green eyes like him.  can't we still lift the burden?  where is our song that we knew so well?  i am the broken bard.  somewhere i have lost my dignity.  it's here, somewhere...  where'd this hole in my chest come from?  maybe while bending down to retreave my fallen heart i'll find him.  he's lost.  i can hear him calling.  my long lost self, keep calling.  following your sound, i shall find you.  surely hope will lend himself to me long enough to wish for my voice to never cease.  i'm coming my friend -- keep calling.  keep calling.